JEETOPREETO JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Pappu: mummy application form mein `permanent identification mark` kya likhun?
jeeto: likh de `left hand mein mobile`!

Santa: you've been correcting every word i say for the last eleven years.
jeeto: twelve years!

Preeto: why is your husband acting weird?
jeeto: he is not acting!

Jeeto: i get brain freeze whenever i eat ice cream.
santa: i never get any brain freeze.
jeeto: you don't have a brain, that's why!

Jeeto: my husband is like jesus during weekends.
preeto: that's a great compliment for a husband. jeeto: it's not a compliment. it's because he disappears on friday evening and then re-emerges only on sunday night!

Santa: you love me or what?
jeeto: or what!

Jeeto: communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
santa: true, so tell me what's wrong?
jeeto: nothing!

Pappu: mom, you can't even take a joke.
jeeto: shut up, didn't i marry your father?

Santa: when you see a pretty girl, what's the first thing you'll be looking at?
jeeto: i'll be looking at you to see if you're looking at her!

Santa: i can't do pull-ups or push-ups.
jeeto: but you can do a lot of f**k-ups!

Santa: i forgot to pay the water bill again. i feel so stupid.
jeeto: don't worry, i do it all the time.
santa: what, forgetting to pay the bill?
jeeto: no, feeling that you're stupid!

Santa: this is the scariest horror movie i've ever watched.
jeeto: shut up, it's our wedding video!

Santa: that's the fifth time i've had to replace the clutch on this car.
jeeto: don't blame me for that. i never use it!

Santa: tell me what's bothering you, honey?
jeeto: you!

Preeto: how do you manage your husband so well?
jeeto: i give him the false impression that he's in charge of our life!

Santa: i wish i were filthy rich.
jeeto: you already are 50% of your wish!

After studying for 30 mins:
pappu: i can't study anymore.
jeeto: lagta hai teri body mein vitamin chappal ki kami ho gayi hai!

Jeeto: kya hua tere phone ko?
pappu: kharab ho gaya hai... kitni baar bolun?
jeeto: bolta reh... achha lag raha hai sun kar!

Preeto: my husband sets alarm 30 minutes early so that we can cuddle in the morning.
jeeto: my husband doesn't set an alarm and lets me sleep because he values his life!

Jeeto: when i'm angry at my husband, i count to ten.
preeto: so that it calms you down?
jeeto: no, it gives my husband an opportunity to run for his life!

Santa: what's your honest opinion about my...
jeeto: your jokes are pathetic.
santa: ...about my new shirt?
jeeto: oh, it's nice!

Preeto: we all make mistakes.
jeeto: true, but i ended up marrying mine!

Santa: if you want to change one thing about our marriage, what would it be?
jeeto: my husband!

Preeto: if you don't like your husband, why don't you just leave him and go?
jeeto: i don't like doing anything that will make him happy!

Pappu: aaj kal paanv zameen par nahi padte mere!
jeeto: padne bhi nahi chahiye... abhi poncha lagaya hai!

Santa: why do you always disagree with me?
jeeto: no, i don't!

Santa: why do you keep on buying these house plants when you just end up killing them?
jeeto: it's just to remind you what i'm capable of!

Preeto: what's the difference between men and term deposits?
jeeto: term deposits eventually mature!

Santa: you women should come with instructions.
jeeto: no use. have you ever seen a man reading & understanding the instructions properly?

Preeto: I think long hair makes a man look so intelligent.
Jeeto: I found one on my Santa's coat the other night and he looked darned foolish.