PAPPU JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Girl: tu hasta nahi hai, kya?
pappu: kyun?
girl: haste hue koi photo nahi dekhi, teri.
pappu: tu nahati nahi, kya?

Bunty: true love always comes back.
pappu: that's right, last month my girlfriend came back to me after a fight to invite me for her wedding!

Girl: what do you do?
pappu: i race cars.
girl: do you win many races?
pappu: no, the cars are much faster!

Bunty: yaar, yeh shaadi ka kya matlab hota hai?
pappu: dhoom dhaam se khud ki supari dena!

Girlfriend: what is more important to you, food or her love?
pappu: sorry, i don't like talking while eating!

Pappu: dad, check my gifts given by my girlfriend.
santa: beta tumhein yeh kya sab cheezein shobha deti hai?
pappu: nahi, priya deti hai!

Pappu: what is gps?
santa: gps tells me what to do while i'm driving.
pappu: so it's mom?

Pappu: papa, yeh mard kaun hota hai?
santa: jo insaan poore ghar mein apni hukumat chalaye.
pappu: papa main bhi bada hokar mummy ki tarah mard banuga!

Girl: i'm sorry, i have a boyfriend.
pappu: that's cool, but i thought you might need a husband. here's my number!

Teacher: what do you know about atoms?
pappu: very little!

Teacher: what is the opposite of antibiotic?
pappu: uncle-biotic!

Pappu: can you lend me 2000 rupees?
bunty: i don't have right now.
pappu: can i use mine and you give when you have it?

Santa: tere mein koi lakshan nahi dikh rahe, jeevan mein aage badhne ke.
pappu: i am asymptomatic!

Bunty: cow ghaas kyon khaati hai?
pappu: uske paas aur koi chaara nahi hota!

Teacher: how can one person do so many stupid things?
pappu: i get up early!

Teacher: why is your paper blank?
pappu: sometimes silence is the best answer!

Teacher: hindi mein anuvad karo - there was a fine line between amitabh and jaya.
pappu: amitabh aur jaya ke beech ek mast rekha thi!

Bunty: chal 'kalank' dekhne chalte hain.
pappu: jaane ki kya zaroorat hai, mirror dekh le ja kar!

Pappu: what happened? why are you so sad?
girl: i lost my job.
pappu: oh! my dad's company is recruiting.
girl: wow! which position?
pappu: daughter-in-law!

A biology teacher was dissecting a frog. having explained the inner features of the amphibians, he asked his students, "what would you expect to find if you dissected a human beings?"
pappu, a bright lad replied, "sir i would expect to find myself behind bars!"

Pappu: what do you think of 35a?
girlfriend: that's not my size. whose size is that... who is that bitch?
pappu: galti ho gayi meri maa... maaf kar de!

Jeeto: why are your grades so bad?
pappu: bad things happen to good people, mom.

Teacher: which is the oldest animal in the world?
pappu: zebra.
teacher: why zebra?
pappu: because it's black & white!

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an 'i'.
pappu: i is the...
teacher: stop! never put 'is' after an 'i'. always put 'am' after an 'i'.
pappu: ok. i am the ninth letter of the alphabet!

Interviewer: it's written in your resume that you went to iit.
boy: yes sir, cousin se milne gaya tha!

Teacher: gaali dete hue sharam nahi aati?
pappu: aati hai, sharmate hue deta hun!

Pappu: scientist log apne ghar mein door bell kyun nahi lagwate?
bunty: kyun?
pappu: kyunki woh 'no-bell' prize jeetna chahte hain!

Pappu: do you know what comes after the usa?
teacher: what?
pappu: usb!

Teacher: you have 500 rupees, your friend messages you and asks 200 rupees, and your girlfriend messages you and asks 300 rupees. how much you have left?
pappu: 500 rupees and 2 unread messages!

Pappu: i love you.
girl: i have a boyfriend.
pappu: you are so beautiful you deserve two boyfriends!