NAUGHTY JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Doctor: what do you do when you feel stressed?
Me: i go to the temple.
Doctor: good... and do meditation?
Me: no... i mix-up all shoes and watch people searching for them!

Girl1: omg! i just burnt 1,200 calories today.
Girl2: really, but how?
Girl1: i forgot the pizza in the oven!

Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume?
Candidate: i fell asleep with my face on the spacebar!

Interviewer: do you allow work-from-home?
Candidate: yeah, but only on weekends!

Q: how do trees access the internet?
A: they log in!

Therapist: maybe all you really need is a long family vacation.
Me: long family vacations are why i'm in therapy!