Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

Couldn't learn to water ski
Because she couldn't find
A lake with a slope.

Got excited
Because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months
And the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911
Because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of california was; answered "c".

Baked a turkey for 3 days
Because the instructions
Said 1 hour per pound
And she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition,
Complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.