NAUGHTY JOKES AND CHUTKULE

1 bhoot dusre se: yaar kitni ajeeb baat hai na ladke mar k bhoot ban jate hain aur ladkiyan? . . churail ki churail rehti hain!

"purana badla" 1 khargosh bomb le kar zoo me ghus gaya, or awaz lagai ki " tum sab ke paas 1 minute ka time hai, yaha se nikalne ke liye..!!", kachuwa "waah...!! saale waah...!!, seedha bol na ki me hi target hu..."

Mobile company ke kisi brilliant salesman ko loose motion ho jaye toh wo doctor ko kaise batayega? . . . . doctor saab subah se unlimited outgoing chal rahi hai, ander se nayi nayi ringtone sunai deti hai, pet me balance khatam ho gya hai, thoda b recharge karta hu to 5 min me discharge ho jata hai, meharbani karke ye scheme band kardo.

Bahu: maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ? . . . . . . . maaji: are kambakht tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!

Ek aadmi kapde ki dukan par gaya aur dukandaar se bola. aadmi: “mujhe ek lady suit dikha do” dukandaar: “biwi ke liye chahiye ya koi achha wala dikhaun?“

Ek ladka apni girl-friend ko shaadi ke liye raazi kar raha hota hai, ladka: “mere paas apne dost jaisi car to nahi par tumhe apni palkon pe bitha ke ghumaunga, mere paas us jaisa bada bangla to nahi par tumhe apne dil mein jagah dunga mere paas us ke jitne paise to nahi par main mehnat kar ke khilaunga, aur tumhe kya chahiye?” ladki: “dimag ki maa bahan mat kar, apne us dost ka number de“

Ek chhota bachha apne pados ki door bell bajata hai aur bolta hai. bachha: “aunty, mummy ne ek katori chini mangayi hai” aunty haste hue: “achha aur kya kaha teri mummy ne?” bachha: “kaha ki agar vo kuttiya na de to samne wali kameeni se le aana“

Doctor ka ek padosi bahut bada nashedi tha, aur khoob jam kar sharab piya karta tha. doctor ne ek din usko samjhate hue bola. doctor: “sharaab ka nasha ahista-ahista insan ko maar deta hai“ nashedi ne muskurate hue jawab diya. nashedi: “to doctor saab, mujhe bhi kaunsa marne ki jaldi hai“

Her mard ka khawab: fit salary 5 bedroom house 4 wheel gaari 2 pyary bachay 1 black berry 2 cute girl friends aur 1 goongi biwi.

Shaadi se pehle bhagwan se dua maangi thi ki achha pakane wali biwi dena. . . . . . . . . . . saala, 'khana' mention karna hi bhool gaya!

Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..? banta- haan girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi. banta- oye pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte..

Santa : main ek larki ko 5 lack rupees de kar, usse daily interest leta hu. . . tum log bhi aisa kro; bara maja aayega, . . . . . interest ka matlab byaaj . tum kya soch rhe the u dirty mind.

Shaulid bejjati . . girls to boy in a college girl- tumhare pent ka chain khula hain. boy mast shayar k andaaz me. mera chain main sab ujda zaalim nazer hathale. barbaad ho rahe hai ji are apne shahar wale..

Us ki chahat ne rulaya bohat hai, us ki yaadon ne tadpaya bohat hai, hum un se bohat pyar karte hain, iss mazboori ko us ne aazmaya bohat hai..

Music channels par sms karke gaane dedicate karna bhi patthar par 'sonu loves pushpa' likhne se kam nahi h

Biwi apne sharabi pati ko sudharne ke liye raat ko kale kapde pahan kar ghar ke bahar khadi ho gayi..... . . . . . pati- kon ho tum.......? . . . . biwi- chudel....!! . . . . . . pati- hath milaaa fir.... mai teri behan ka pati....

Main wo nahi ki, shaadi hui aur badal gaya. mera wahi mizaj, wahi zazba hai. shaadi se pehle bhi mujhe, shaadi ka shonk tha. aur shaadi ke baad bhi mujhe shaadi ka shonk hai.

Ek baar ek budhiya mar gayi, uski beti zor-zor se rone lagi aur boli, beti: “amma kaha gayi tu, jaha na dhoop-na chaanv, na roti-na sabzi, na bijli na pani” bagal mein santa-banta bhi shok manane aaye hue the, santa ne sath baithe banta ko kohni maari aur bola, santa: “abe dekh budhiya kahi hamare ghar pe to nahi chali gayi“

Bas itna hi kaha tha ke, tere pyar mein barson se pyasa hoon sanam. phir kya thha? zalim ne pani ka pipe muh mein daal kar motor chala di.

What is the interesting thing in tom & jerry? poora din nange ghumenge, aur jab nahane ke liye jayenge, to swimming suit pahan ke jayenge.

Nind nahi aati raat ko, chain nahi aata din ko, maine pucha bhagwan se kya yahi pyar hai? bhagwan ne muskurate hue jawab diya: “nahi re paagal, delhi ki garmi se sabka yahi haal hai“

Santa ne ek din badi udasi se apne dost banta ko bola. santa: “yaar meri biwi gussa bahut karti hai” banta: “meri bhi pahle karti thi ab nahi karti” santa: “achha, aisa tum ne kya elaaj kiya?” banta muskurate hue: “kuch khas nahi, wo ek din gusse mein thi, maine kah diya ke budhape mein gussa aa hi jata hai, us din se wo gussa nahi karti“

Santa apni patni ko roz -roz yeh keh kar chidata tha :- 3 bacho ki amma.................... . . patni ko bahut gussa aata tha...... . . ek din jaise hi santa ne bola : 3 bacho ki amma.. . . . . patni ne turant jawab diya : bolo 2 bacho k papa...... .. jo samajh gaye hai...wo thoko "like".

A girl travelling in a auto.. girl to auto driver - meeru baga chaduvukoni 1st class lo pass ayi undachu kada sir.. auto driver - evaru cheparu nenu 1st class lo pass aina sarena..?? girl - mari ee auto nadapadam enti sir..?? . . . . . . . . auto driver :- 1st class okate pass migatha ani fail.. again auto driver rockz. girl shockz...

Pyar ka phla ishq ka dushra or mahobbat ka tishra aksr adura hota h.. islia hi hi hm tumhe chhate h kyoki chahat ka hr aksr pura hota h..

Agar gandhi ji k time me aids hota to kya hota? guess ... ek aur bandar niche hath lagakar betha hota.. or likha hota. "bura mat karo"..

Aasman me sitaare sitaron me chehra aapka kis trh karun aapke saundrya ki prsansa jab dekhte dekhte prbhaat ho gya.

Ek pagal ne lov letter likha dusre ne dekh liya or kaha isme to kuch likha nahi hai ye to blank hai to pahle ne kaha ajkal ladai hai bolchal band hai

Do ladkiya movie dekhne ke baad ghar wapis aa rahi thi pehli saheli: “mera purse chori ho gaya hai“. dusri saheli: “tu toh apna purse hamesha apni bra mein rakhti thi”. pehli saheli: “mujhe kya pata tha wo saala chori kar lega“.

Santa ne apni wife su pucha ki saadi ke pahle tumhare kitne boyfriend the. to uski wife kuch bi nahi boli. to santa ne jod se kaha abe kuch to bola. to uski wife ne kaha abi tak ginti kar rahi hu.