BLONDES JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Hello

A blonde walks into a store and asks the helper if she could buy this tv the helper sees no we don't sell to blondes and so the blonde goes and dies her hair red and goes back and asks the same helper if she could buy the tv and the helper said once again no we do not sell to blondes so the blonde goes and dies her hair brown and goes back to the same helper and asks one again if she could buy the tv and once again the helper said no we do not sell to blondes and the blonde sees how do you know i'm blonde? and the helper sees becuz that's not a tv it's a mirror

A professor invented a lie detecting chair. whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair would open up and dump the liar on the floor. during an experiment, a brunette sat in the chair and the professor asked her to tell about herself. she began, "i think you are the best teacher i've ever had." the chair immediately dumped her on the floor. after the brunette left in a snit, a blonde sat in the chair. the professor asked her to tell something of her life. she began, "i think -" the next thing she knew, she was sitting in the floor.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. for years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp. they rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. the genie says "since i can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one." so the brunette goes first, "i have been stuck here for years, i miss my family and my husband and my life - i just want to go home." poof, she is gone. the redhead makes her wish, "this place sucks, i want to go home too." poof, she is gone. the blonde starts crying uncontrollably. the genie asks, "what is the matter?" the blonde said, "i wish my friends were here.

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "i would like to buy this tv," she told the salesman. "sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. she hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "i would like to buy this tv." " sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "darn, he recognized me," she thought. she went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "i would like to buy this tv." sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. frustrated, she exclaimed "how do you know i'm a blonde?" " because that's a microwave," he replied.

A policeman was interviewing three blondes who wanted to become detectives. to test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "this is your suspect. how would you recognize him?" the first blonde answered, "that's easy! we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" the policeman said, "well...uh... that's because the picture shows his profile." slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture at the second blonde and said, "this is your suspect. how would you recognize him?" the second blonde giggled, flipped her hair and said, "ha! he'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" the policeman angrily replied, "what's the matter with you two? of course only one eye and one ear are showing, because this is a picture of his profile! is that the best answer you can come up with?" extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and said, in a very testy voice, "this is your suspect. how would you recognize him?" he quickly added, "and think hard before answering, so you don't say something completely idiotic." the blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses." the policeman was stunned speechless, because he honestly didn't know whether the suspect wore contacts or not. "well, that's an interesting answer... wait here for a few minutes while i check his file, and i'll get back to you on that." he left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file in his computer, and came back beaming. "wow!" he said, " i can't believe it...it's true! the suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. good work! but how were you able to make such an astute observation?" "that's easy," the blonde replied. "he can't wear regular glasses, because he only has one eye and one ear."

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. they had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. they asked for a well- trained birddog, and got one. the two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. the dog didn't work. no matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. they became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, okay, we'll give him one more try. we'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. they quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. the brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. she turned to the blonde and asked her, "now, do you remember what the plan is?" the blonde sighed and replied, "yeah, yeah, i remember..." the brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" the blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car. and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. after waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. the blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. a security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. the blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. she ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. the security guard yelled, "stop! stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind. the brunette frantically asked the blonde, "what the hell happened in there?!?" the blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "what do you mean? i followed the plan exactly!" the brunette paused and yelled, "you idiot! you were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!"