HUSBAND VS WIFE JOKES AND CHUTKULE

My wife, my life .. the most supportive, sensitive, emotional, careful person to all, i am blessed with almighty.. love and respect to my lady.. thanks for my life.. stay blessed ..

Women are like fruits .... every women has her own unique taste and color .... the problem is with the men .... they seem to love "fruit salad" :

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life…!! why? very simple. a woman does not have a wife..!!!

Why does a man keep his wifes picture in his pocket? because whenever he is in trouble, he looks at the picture and thinks .... if i can face this, i can face ...

Wife at the dinner table, "please toast some bread for me". the lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "to bread!"

Collateral benefit of the ipad: husband & wife no longer block each other`s faces while reading newspapers.

My wife says i never take her anywhere expensive. so i took her to the gas station.

An intelligent wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman.

A wife was screaming at her husband, "leave! get out of this house!" she ordered. as husband was walking out the door she yelled, "i hope you die a slow and painful death!" he stopped, turned around and replied "so now you want me to stay?

Wife: you had lunch? husband: you had lunch? wife: i'm asking you. husband: i'm asking you. wife: are you copying me? husband: are you copying me? wife: i love you. husband: i had lunch!

Wife: there's trouble with the car. it has water in the carburetor. hubby: water in the carburetor? that's ridiculous. wife: i tell you the car has water in the carburetor. hubby: you don't even know what a carburetor is. i'll check it out. where's the car? wife: in the pool.

Dear husband, your wallet was getting fat so i am taking it out for some exercise! yours loving wife

Never criticize ur husband's faults. remember it may have been these little imperfections that stopped him from getting a better wife.

My wife treats me like god! she takes no notice of my existence till she wants something.

Wife to husband: you don't love me at all. husband points towards their 5 children and says, `do you think i have downloaded them from google`?

Husband: when i`m gone, you`ll never find another man like me. wife: what makes you think i`d want another man like you!

The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: wife having beauty secrets and husband having secret beauties.

Truth of life: husband makes a mistake, wife shouts & husband says sorry. wife makes a mistake, husbands shouts & wife cries; & husband again says sorry.

Why are wives more dangerous than the mafia? the mafia wants either ur money or life... the wives want both!

A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. the neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.

Men who don't understand women at all, by & large, fall into two groups: bachelors and husbands.

Wife to her friend: my hubby bought me a mood ring the other day. when i'm in a gud mood, it turns green & when im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!

Wife: if i dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me? husband: i won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

Men want 3 qualities in wives: economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. but they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in bed.

A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is honest. a man who surrenders when he's not sure, is wise. a man who surrenders when he's right, is a husband

Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime. lovers r like pizzas, hot n spicy, eaten frequently. husbands r like dal rice, eaten when there`s no choice

Man receives telegram: wife dead-should be buried or cremated? man: don't take any chances. burn the body and bury the ash.

Husband: shall we try a different position tonight? wife: that's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while i sit on the sofa and fart.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "you know, i was a fool when i married you." she replied, "yes, dear, but i was in love & didn't notice."

Wife: tumhe pyar karna nahi aata. husband: to kya ye 3 bacche internet se download kiya hain? wife: nahi ye to tumhare dost ke pen drive se liya hai.