BOLLYWOOD JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Aamir khan is probably the only indian who is consistently following the rto rule of surrendering a 15-year-old model!

Dhoom 1 - john abraham acted and got separated from bipasha basu.
dhoom 2 - hrithik roshan acted and got separated from suzzane.
dhoom 3 - aamir khan acted and got separated from kiran.

now, who will want to act in dhoom 4?

I just watched radhe for 20 minutes for salman khan.
and i realised the importance of stop loss applies to movies as well!
#stoploss

Santa: i am not an srk fan. but consider that slap was from everyone who had wasted their money watching 'tees maar khan'!

Sanjay leela bhansali directing akshay kumar for his next film on rasikbhai the guy who invented the revolutionary herbal digestive 'kaayam churna'.
and the title of the film is... 'paadnamat'!

Saaho film ne youtube ke trailer se itne paise kama liye, kuchh filmein poore lifetime mein kamati hai!

Sunita to her hubby, anil kapoor, "love is in the hair"!

Iifa awards are like return gifts at 10-year old's birthday party. everyone who attends it gets one.

When i first heard about vijeder singh being linked to 130kg heroine, i thought it was sonakshi sinha.
i realised later, it was heroin and and heroine!

Jiah khan sucide:
jadon ji(ah) kha(a)n nu pave, tan zindagi ton dil uth jaanda hai!
rip jiah khan!

Uday chopra qualifies to act (?) in all in all 'dhoom' movies because he's from
.
..
...
....
the "management quota"!

Shahrukh khan called on customer care:
shahrukh khan: hello, mera net nahi chal raha.
executive: aapki toh movies bhi nahi chal rahi, sir!

Aamir: you know kiran, seven terrorists killed in pathankot.
kiran: oh god, terrorists are not safe in this country. let's pack our bags!

Amitabh will have to rename his film to `buddah hoga terra dada`.

My bank account is inspired from anushka sharma, it now has a zero figure!

Finally, shirish kunder got his hit, the first one!

Saif says his eye was swollen after the brawl. actually, everyone noticed a swollen head.

Filmy welcome to baby girl born to twinkle and akshay kumar:
"heyy babyy",
though it's 'housefull' but 'welcome' to 'family' of 'joker'! "omg oh my god!" "meri biwi ka jawaab nahin"!
"thank you"
'khiladi'

Secret revealed about aamir khan's pk poster:
the poor soul went to relieve himself at the railway track and the national anthem started playing on the radio!

In the year 2013:
aamir khan gave dhoom
arvind kejriwal gave broom
kareena kapoor got groom
asaram & narayan swami got room
and emraan hashmi - as usual, choom!

How was velcro discovered?
it all happened in the 1990s, when akshay kumar and anil kapoor hugged each other without a shirt!

Dear kellogs,
please cast sonakshi sinha or huma qureshi or vidya balan in your "kellogs challenge ad" and show us the results.
casting deepika padukone is really a joke.
sincerely,
women

Hrithik roshan and his wife sussanne have decided to separate.
moral : even a superhero like krrish cannot handle a wife!

Saaho film ne youtube ke trailer se itne paise kama liye, kuchh filmein poore lifetime mein kamati hai!

Dear tv channels,
now that the elections are over, can you please tell me when ranbir and katrina are getting married?
thanks!

Varun: what is gst?
alia: good night, sweet dreams, take care!

Wife: honey, let's go to watch ek villain today.
husband: but you said your mom isn't in town!

Sunita to her hubby, anil kapoor, "love is in the hair"!

Aamir khan school of child psychology & career planning:
3 idiots: let your child become what he or she wants to become.
dangal: make your child what you want him or her to become.
taare zameen par: it's ok if your child does not want to become anything. just don't interfere.
lagta hai koi pk hamari firki le raha hai!

Hey celina jaitley,
nice budget by your dad. convey my thanks.
regards
aia bhatt