POLITICS JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Modi & obama were hving a discussion in a bar.. a guy walks in & asks dem wat’s d discussion abut? modi:”v r planing to kill 14 crore pakistanis & angelina jolie” guy: y angelina jolie? suddenly modi tells obama, “c i told u, nobody would care about 14 crore pakistanis!!”=d=))=d

A man dies.. in heaven he sees alarge wall full of clocks..!! he asks angel: “what are these for?” angel answers: “these are lie clocks, every person has lie clock! whenever u lie on earth, clock moves..!!” the man points towards a clock n asks: “whose clock is this??” angel says: its mother teresa’s.. it never moved, showing that she never told lie..!! then the man asks: where is indian politician’s clock??? angel replies: that’s in our office … we use them as table fan..!!

Mayawati came to lalu?s house with an elephant. lalu: bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho? mayawati: dikhta nahi elephantwa hai. lalu: dhutt! pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hoon. :p

Lalu to rabri: agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai, toh sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata doke ande kiske hai, toh woh murgi bhi tumari. rabri: lalu ji, koi hint toh do na plz?

Breaking news:-sonia gandhi (in dabbang style) :- hazaaro se darr nahi lagta saheb.. hazare se darr lagta hai..

Lalu ke peeche kutte ka bachha padh gaya, lalu bhagte bhagte bole, hum to bsnl ka card dalwaya hun, sasura vodafone ka network kaise pakad raha he?

Amul - the taste of india babool - the paste of india rahul gandhi- the waste of india. modi- the best of india. sonia- the guest of india.

Asif zardari ne islmabad men nawaz sharif k sath mil ker coca cola pi or nawaz sharif ne kaha k judge kub bahal hongay? to zardari ne kaha..

Zardari ne awam k vote ka kesa sila dia! = itni mahengai ki k hansto ko rula dia socha tha k shayud salary barhay gi, = salary ghanta barhi, ghanta barha dia

Ab full corruption ki bari hai, q k ab daur-e-zardari hai, ab lootna maal sarkari hai, q k ab daur-e-zardari hai, ab aap ki izzat aapki apni zimmadari hai, q k izzat ka shikari asif ali zardari hai, ab photi qismat hamari hai, q k ab nawaz sharif ka bhai asif ali zardari hai,

Zardari ka farman, subse pehlay sadar-e-pakistan, mulk ko bana do qabristan, khatam karo musalman, dollar hai apna eman, or bush hai abba jaan,

Breaking news: rahul to retire. bjp president: wow, it's time to celebrate. secretary: sir, it's rahul dravid retiring from test cricket and not rahul gandhi from politics.

Congress: celebrating holi, the festival of colors is the best to forget the whitewash in up and goa!

It'll be ironical if pawan bansal escapes railgate and fixed by maneka gandhi for sacrificing a goat!

If the government limits sms, just because rumors are spreading; by the same logic, should we stop paying taxes because the money is being siphoned due to corruption?

Sherlyn chopra should head youth congress. it can invigorate the organization and revive the animal spirits manmohan ji talked about.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

All the presidential candidates should be put into "rashtrapati bhavan" & "bigg boss" should be held over the month! may the best win to be the president of india!

The pm and president can be decided on a reality show. i have a name too. indian idle. chetan bhagat

Headlines: 42% of indian children underweight, pm calls it "a national shame". what about the 50% children & 80% adults who are overweight/obese. is that "a national pride"?

Nitin gadkaris's touching baba ramdev's feet is an example that people bend in politics!

Before nitin gadkari touched baba ramdev's feet, he had to carefully remove them from baba ramdev's mouth.

Nitin gadkari touched baba ramdev's feet, it seems. a refreshing change from baba ramdev touching baba ramdev's feet.

School ki life:10+2tak college ki life:pado jab tak. love ki life: shadi tak. but hamari dosti ki life:

Age lutane krishan ji apna prem annaya! 5 saal ke baad fir huye sudama dhany!

Lage lutane krishan ji apna prem annaya! 5 saal ke baad fir huye sudama dhany!

Rahul gandhi ek school visit par gaya… . . class ko practical karwane laga ….. usne apni pocket se 5 ka sikka nikal kar, tezaab (acid) ke glass mein daal diya , aur students se poocha: ye sikka mehfooz rahega ya ghul jayega? . . 1 student :mehfooz rahe ga, . . rahul gandhi hairat se : tumhe kaise pata? student :ager is sikkey ko tezaab mein ghulna hota to aap ye apni jaib se nahi, hum se maangte..

Politics is the root of looking for problems. the more you search and observe about this politics things, you got to admit that each party is actually worse than the other. in fact the one that is out always looks the best or at least better than the others.

Bjp offering free tea in namo cups. congress offering free coffee in raga cups. mujhe koi free beer de do, cup koi bhi chalega

Kabhi zindgi ka sauda na kar saka uski yadoko dilse juda na kar saka use bhulne ki aarzu thi par kaise kare wo kaam jo khuda na kar saka