STUDENT JOKES AND CHUTKULE

Miss ap ny mujhe kal call kiya tha kya? miss: nahi to!! student: kamal hai!! mere phone pai toh likha tha miss call.

Techar: student se lofar aur offer me kya antar hai, student: agr ladka i love u bole to lofar, aur agr ladki bole to offer!

School mein admission ke liye interview: teacher : beta aapke papa kya karte hai ? cute answer.... boy : jo mummy bolti he

Class mein teacher bachho se puchti hai teacher: “agar sincerely ki jaye to is duniya mein sabse mushkil job kiski hai?” pappu: “madam ji, blue film ke cameraman ki“

Boy- sir iska kya mtlb hai "i m going" . sir- mai ja raha hu. . boy- sir bataiye na . sir- mai ja raha hu . boy-saale aise kaise chala jaega answr bata k ja...;):d:d

Ek bachche ke school test mein marks kam aaye to teacher bachche ko modern tareeke se darati hai. teacher: “kal chup chap apne mummy-papa ko school mein le aana.” “warna main tumhara test result facebook par post karke tumhare mummy papa ko usmein tag kar dungi.” this time teacher rocks, children shocks

Arz hai gaur farmiyega.... . bas is liye maine mehfilo me jana chhod diya ae doston . koi ye na puchh le ke . aur beta padhai kaisi chal rahi hai..?..;):d:d

Question: ek ghanta padhne se aur ek ghanta nahi padhne se kya farak padta hai ??? . . . . . . . . . . answer: ghanta farak padta hai!!!

Teacher : agar lion tumhare piche pada ho to tum kya karoge ? pappu : me ped par chad javunga teacher: agar lion bhi ped me chadne laga to pappu : me nadi me khud javunga teacher: agar lion bhi nadi me khud jaye to pappu : haramjadi tu mere side hai ya lion ke :d :d

Class mein teacher ne santa se puchha. teacher: “radio or news paper mein kya farq hai?” santa ne kuch der socha aur bola: “dekho madam, news paper mein hum roti lapet ke le ja sakte hai, magar radio mein nahi le ja sakte“

Teacher class mein bachho ko pada rahi thhi teacher: “delhi mein kutubminaar hai” pappu piche wale bench pe so raha thha, teacher ne ye dekha aur usko jag ake boli teacher: “what did i say?” pappu hadbadate hue: “delhi mey kutta bimar hai“

Teacher : what happens wen carbon monoxide reacts wid 2 molecules of iron? . . brahmi : coffee ! . . . teachr : how? . . brahmi : co + 2fe = coffee...

Teacher :what is differences between orange nd apple...??? . . . . . . . . . . . student : the color of orange is orange and the color of apple is not apple...

Madam:agr koi school ke samne bomb rakh deta hai to kya karoge? student:1-2 min dekhenge . agr koi le jata hai to theek hai, warna staff room main rakh denge!

Teacher- jise sunai na de use kiya khoge??? student- use... madrchod.. maa ka lund... bhosdi ka... kuchh bhi kah do... use kon sa sunai de rha hai..

Studnt:mam ye mardana kamzori kya hoti hai? teacher: beta agar ap k khwab me koi ladki aye or waha par bhi uski izzat bach jaye, to ise mardana kamzori kehte hai..;):d:d

Teacher (minister ke bete se): “batao, sukhe aur baad mein kya fark hai?” minister ka beta: “zameen-aasmaan ka” teacher: “b” minister ka beta: “sukhe mein mere papa jeep se daura karte hai aur baad mein helicopter se“

Vry true lines.. . kitabe sbse achi dost hoti hain... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . bhagwan jane kiski.:d:d

Class mein teacher ne santa se pucha: “george bush kon hai?” santa: “pata nahi” teacher ne fir pucha: “bill clinton kon hai?” santa: “pata nahi ji” teacher gusse se: “kabhi padayi pe dhayan do to pata chale” santa ne kuch soch ke pucha: “jaggu, mohan, gaurav kon hai?” teacher: “pata nahi” santa: “kabhi beti pe dhayan do to pata chale“

Agar aap is garmi k 45 degree wali tapti dupari me sutta pina nahi chodte , . . . . toh aap engineer hai...:d:d

Student- sir sab log hindi, english, urdu, me bolte, maths me kyu nahi. teacher - jyada 3,5 na kar 9,2,11 hole nahi to 4,5 jab dunga to 6 k 36 dikhne lagenge.

Mr. chips: dear katherine! , me tmhary begair zinda nai reh skta , , me tmse bht pyar krta hn , , jbsy tmhen us mountain py cycling krty dekha h , , mery dil k guitar bjny lgy hn , , tm bht khubsurat ho. , , me tmhara brookfield k samny, mrs. wicket k ghr py walnut cake or tea k sath initzar kr rha hn… , , , plz ajao or mera pyar accept kro! . . . . enni g gal c ty 18-chapter likh ditty saly ny…!! muhabataan tuadian,, ty suppliyaan saadiaan…:-p

Lady teacher :- chalo beta iss line ko do lafzo me bolo 'main aapse pyaar karta hoon' student- sorry, mam.. . .. teri meri , meri teri prem kahani hai mushkil ,do lafzo me ye bayaa na ho paaye.. xd :p

Class mein teacher students se puchti hai. teacher: “baccho, ek aisa sentence banao jis mein urdu, hindi, punjabi aur english ka paryog hua ho” pappu: “ishq di gali wich no entry“:d:d

Class mein madam ne pappu se puchha. madam: “pappu, tumhara parmanent address kya hai?” pappu muskurate hue: “ji, facebook.com“

Teacher class mein lecture dete hue kehti hai. teacher: “agar irada pakka ho to jo hasil karna chaho woh zarur milta hai” student: “rehne dein miss, aagar aisa hota to aap meri miss nahi misses hote“;:d:d

Two commerce students talking... mehul: oh! sorry yaar,i heard about your breakup. is it true? rahul: yup! mehul: you must be sad na.. .... rahul: no yaar! we are commercestudents! i have kept 1 gf as reserved for doubtful debts.

Differencr b/w 1st bench nd last bench students.. . . 1st bench students.. 1. study 2.study 3.study 4.study 5.study 6.study 7.study 8.study 9.study 10.study 11.study results -85% last bench students.. 1.dreaming 2.copying 3.fighting 4.talking 5.hearing songs 6.bunked class 7.laughing 8.throwing pens 9.chating 10.punishments 11.watching girls etc... results -75%

Class mein teacher bachon se question puch rahi hoti hai to santa ki baari mein teacher puchti hai. teacher: “jab bijli chamkti hai to hum ko roshni pehle aur awaaz baad mein kyun aati hai?” santa: “kyonki hamari aankhein aage hai aur kaan piche hai“:d:d

Pappu bhagwan se prarthna kar raha tha. pappu: “bhagwan, please punjab ko america ki rajdhani bana do plzzzz” bhagwan ji ne ye suna aur hairan hokar prakat hue aur puchha: “kyun be?” pappu: “kyunki main exam mein likh aaya hoon“